Being Mindful is the Best Way to Grow Up (23/1/18)

  The first month of 2018 is coming to an end and I believe that most of us have achieved our New Year’s resolutions. As for me, being mindful is one of my resolutions, I still haven’t achieved yet.

It all started when I was an 18-year-old, a fresh graduate from high school, just stepping into college. Sure, new environment, new experience and being away from home for the first time.

 Every time I asked my friends out for lunch, they would reject me or give reasons such as busy with assignments and homework, I could understand that.Until I started my second semester in college, somewhere in the middle of the semester, I realised not everyone will bear and tolerate our attitudes. I started to learn being alone- a first step being independent at a tertiary level. The feeling was great as I got to know myself better as a person.

  Last year in March, I reached another milestone- entering university. I was one of the active students in lectures and tutorials, always wanting to prove that I could be like everyone. I was very "competitive" among my course mates whenever the Q & A sessions came on.

  Due to my "competitiveness", my course mates started to distant themselves from me. After receiving counselling from my lecturer, I started to subside my "competitiveness" and give other students chances to answer the questions. In the second semester, I told myself "give other people chances".

  Being enthusiastic is a good thing, but going overboard will cause lots of "problems". People would think that it will  "scare them off". I try to tone down every now and then. Sometimes I need to be someone else’s shoes and not thinking of myself all the time. At one point, I shut out the people around me because I wanted to know the mistakes that I have made.

  One way being mindful is to be observant by watching the people around us. Observe how they act, talk, handling problems, from there we can pick up their positive traits to improve ourselves better as a person. Another thing being mindful is to see the situation- knowing when is the right time to act and talk.

  As a young person who is going on the road to adulthood at 21 in November, I believe that being mindful is the first step of being a young adult.

《本来只想暗恋你》粉丝见面会 （13/1/18）

  今天是《本来只想暗恋你》粉丝见面会！2018年的第一场活动！我们往雪兰莪蒲种大嘴叭，突然间爸爸的车子出问题，原来车钥匙没电池了。一路上，妈妈说：“文儿啊，如果主办单位问你为什么迟到，就说爸爸车子出了问题。” 我们到目的地，可是找不到大嘴叭，幸好一路上有几位良心商家带路。乘电梯到三楼，我们看到go xuan 的牌子，进场之前还附送礼物哦！

  我进去时候，瀚元哥哥刚唱完《小幸运》的最后一句，全场欢呼。现场主持人—— Vivienne温慧茵到台上，“是不是很喜欢《小幸运》这首歌呢？” 全场直呼：“喜欢！” 慧茵姐就说：“好，现在进行我们游戏环节。有请Ruby狄妃、Kendra苏凯璇、Jacqueline程爱玲以及Daniel 冯伟权到台上。”

  第一个游戏环节是—— 《比手划脚》，演员和粉丝们要在一分钟内要猜提示者的答案。两组只猜到答案，而一组没猜到，游戏的最后大家都有礼物。第一个游戏结束，Ruby姐献唱《90后》，刚才在车上也听这首歌，它有摇滚风格；Daniel哥哥和Jacqueline姐姐则献唱汪苏龙的《有点甜》，歌曲来到尾声的时候全场喊 “在一起” 这三个字，我看了也不禁笑了起来。我也把他们的演出录在手机。
  第二个游戏则是复制网剧里的情节，演员们向台上的参与者示范。第一组是俊松向倾城 “正式” 表白；第二组是复制美怡向家星表白，后来家星拒绝美怡，她气得把家星要一口！游戏环节之后，全体《本来只想暗恋你》演员到台上来个大合照。他们为大家献唱《情非得已》，还到台下和观众互动。

  演员们到我的身边时候，我直接飞扑瀚元哥哥的怀抱！他和我四目相视，我的心一直 “扑腾扑腾” 跳，我不是在做梦吧？慧茵姐姐说：“大家看看你的纸袋里的卡片，可以让演员们签名哦！还可以画上卡通版的自己。” 趁大家在索取签名的时候，就让画家姐姐画上卡通版的自己。慧茵姐姐过来看一眼，“慧茵姐姐！” 她看到我时候说：“Katelyn，好久不见！你过得好吗？你在哪里读书？” 我说我过得很好，现在就读大一在双威大学。

  队伍开始减少了，妈妈带我去索取演员们的亲笔签名。由于舞台的面积小，不方便合照。“待会我们的演员会和每个人合照，不必担心！” 慧茵姐姐说，我和她先来个合照。“新年你们会来马六甲吗？” 她说：“哪你要留意我们的官方面子书哦！” 当场还有供午餐，我只是吃个鸡蛋三明治和意大利面，还有一杯的抹茶。“我们再有请《本来只想暗恋你》的演员们到前台进行拍照环节！”

  瀚元哥哥和粉丝们拍了后就转身对我说：“来，我们来拍个照吧！” 我马上从妈妈手中接过手机就自拍几张，心里很兴奋！凯璇姐也过来跟我合照，“谢谢你来支持哦！” 我给她最灿烂的笑容，到爱玲姐姐时候，有一张是我被她 “吻” ，后来灵光一闪就问她：“爱玲姐，可以亲你吗？” 爱玲姐说：“可以啊！” 我直接亲她的脸颊，我们俩看了照片就说：“不错！很美！” 还剩下Daniel哥、Meeki姐和Ruby姐，但是他们要走了。

  我们要离开时候，主办单位把我们留步，原因是不要让粉丝们的围绕。我还问Ruby姐姐是否她还有联络William，她说：“有啊！” 我、Daniel哥和Meeki姐的合照也拍在Meeki姐的相机。离开之前，我给Daniel哥哥一个拥抱，他爱怜抚摸我的秀发像哥哥爱护着妹妹的感觉。我也不忘向主办单位说一声 “谢谢” 。我很开心！

  2018年第一场出席活动，到此结束！期待更多的活动，看新春的时候还可以见到艺人哥哥姐姐呢？

My favorite character, Jun Song, in Xuan's new web series "May I Love You" 

After one and half years, Vivienne and I reunited  

First Day of Year 1 Semester 3 (8/1/18)

  The school season started last week, but today the students of Sunway University College headed back for their new semester after months of break. The first lecture of today was Tamadun Islam dan Tamadun Asia, it’s TITAS for short but the English name for this subject is called Islamic and Asia Civilisation. It’s a compulsory subject for every Malaysian student and we have to pass it too in order to earn our certificate upon graduation.

  The subject is in Malay, and I didn’t touch the language nor speak the language since I graduated from high school for almost four years. Although I passed the subject in my SPM, learning a new subject with the language again, it’s gonna be a challenge. As a Malaysian, I still speak Malay but not so much like I did in high school.

  There were two tasks or rather course work to choose from as part of the subject. The first one was attending a day camp or the second one which was creating a video based on the topic which is going to be given by the lecturer later on. The day camp each group must consist of 10 students, as always I’m the one who is “left out” but it’s okay, I’m sure one of the groups have to “accept” me.
 When it was about 9.45am, everyone in JC3 Hall started to stretch their tired legs and some of them were about to doze off. Our lecturer, Dr. Yaccob, who “witnessed” the scene, she said: “Since it’s the first day, I’ll let you kids go off. We’ll continue on Wednesday.” I was coming down the steps of the auditorium aisle, my new classmate, Feng, who gave me a helping hand.

  Ivan, my course mate offered to escort me down to the university’s foyer. After that, I headed to Sunway University Buddhist Society (SBS) booth to recruit students for our upcoming musical in June! Isn’t this exciting? That’s one way to ring in the new semester!

  I’m happy to see my friends again! New year, new semester! Gotta work hard!

20th Birthday (2/11/17)

  The moment I woke up, I was not a teenager anymore! I officially stepped into the big 2-0! That's right, it was my 20th birthday. My mum was the first one to wish me a very happy 20th birthday. My birthday started off smoothly with a meet up of a fellow MUFY junior, Hui Yee. We had breakfast at the university cafeteria to get the birthday atmosphere warmed up a little. 

  I took a few bites of Hui Yee's yee mee, as I already had breakfast at home before coming to campus. I also bumped into two of course mates, Metta and Madhura- they both wished me happy birthday and I said "thank you". Hui Yee even bought a small chocolate cupcake- no candles but what important is the sincerity. Oh, I even got a Silky Girl lip balm from my senior- Priyanka. 

  I've always dreamed of owning a Silky Girl product since I was 10!  To kill the time before Organisational Communication lecture starts, I took out a magazine titled- Diana: Her Life & Legacy. One by one, birthday wishes from my course mates kept pouring in. "Hey guys, I know the request it's a little odd but do you mind sing a Happy Birthday song please?" Vi Wern said: "Hey everyone let's sing a Happy Birthday song for Kar Marn!" 

  Another birthday lunch with my best friend Derrick, who was done with Psychology lecture. Qiong Fang came to drop by to let me know about the recent updates on Sunway University Buddhist Society, since I'm the secretary, some things I needed to pay close attention to. Communication Theory and Practice was about to start soon, I went to the washroom. 

   When I came back, the whole lecture theater was pitched black. The first thing came to my mind was: Are we watching a movie? Did I miss anything when I went out? Zhi Wen and Jaya came down from the steps of the theater singing Happy Birthday, the whole class joined in.  "Happy 20th birthday, Kar Marn! From all of us! Here's a cake, enjoy your big day!" Zhi Wen said. "I'm gonna cry soon!" I said. "Don't cry Kar Marn. Go on make a wish!" Jaya said. 

  I blew the candle and everyone in the room clapped. This was the second time my birthday was celebrated in university, the first one was pre-celebrated with the Sunway University Buddhist Society. 

  The rest of the night of my birthday, my parents brought me to a Japanese restaurant at KLGCC for a birthday meal. It's simple yet heartwarming. I almost cried again during the birthday dinner but I managed to hold my composure. A birthday photo was taken to end the night. Thanks mummy and daddy for the birthday dinner, my tummy was super happy for the whole night! 

  Hey, teenager no more! I still need time to adjust myself in my first twenties, one more year is my key to freedom- that's when the real journey as an adult truly begins. 

菩提工作坊：《走在阳光道上》实验剧场 （28/10/17）

  续Taylor's University 第五届的iLead Shine Conference，我到回双威大学学院等爸妈来接我去雪隆佛教联谊会（Buddhist Gem Fellowship）出席菩提工作坊的《走在阳光道上》实验剧场。一路上，车上的气氛很沉有僵硬，我只好望出车窗看风景让心情平抚。

  我们到了雪隆佛教联谊会，第一时间就到报名处。我再乘坐电梯上去到二楼，上星期见到菩提工作坊的佛友认出了我：“咦，你也有来啊？” 其中一位师姐问道。我说：“是啊！” 师姐说：“哪到里边请！待会聊哦！” 我找不到璟芳的人影，听到有人叫我：“凯特琳！” 我转头就到看到璟芳。妈妈放下我之后，就走了。

  身旁的姐姐自称是Whale，就读宁波渃丁汉大马分校。节目开始之前，全体竖立歌颂《赞佛偈》。这让我打开眼界，平时在马六甲家乡参加佛教活动是已《三宝歌》为开场。Whale姐说：“这是对佛陀尊敬。” 

   节目开始就是揭晓菩提工作坊的三十周年的徽章，主持人说：“你们也可以盖上耳朵，如果你们怕的话。” 礼堂的观众哄堂大笑，其实林坊长和凉茶婆婆把手柄推下就是揭晓三十周年的徽章。镜头里的照片带大家回到1988年—— 菩提工作坊的成立。1988年我在 ”空中” 呢！九年后，我才来到这个世界。

   台上灯光开始暗下来，我们回到29年前的菩提工作坊。一个热爱佛曲的青年—— 叶景华（Gary哥 饰）和一班的伙伴们在唱歌，突然间灵感来了就说：“不如我们开个地方让所有热爱佛曲的青年们用歌声传达佛法。” 伙伴们点头同意表示这注意不错。日子过久了，大家回各自家乡，但他们有一个承诺就是他们一定回来工作坊相聚。

  刚回吉兰丹家乡不久的景华得了一通电话来自柔佛的方志明（林振威 饰）是否能够再到首都吉隆坡一趟，自从伙伴们走散了工作坊也没有消息了。于是要重新建立菩提工作坊，景华决定到吉隆坡一趟。重新建立菩提工作坊，却被遭拒绝因为外界认为佛曲不是唱歌或娱乐之类的。景华要放弃，但是一路以来支持他的干妈（也就是现在凉茶婆婆）告诉他：“只要你有恒心、坚持和信心，你一定会把菩提工作坊建立起来。你也别忘记有你支持的伙伴们和家人。” 

  这句和外婆说的一模一样！最后，菩提工作坊建立了！最后的一幕，所有的演员为大家献唱《走在阳光道上》。演出的尾声，台上的演员、台前幕后工作人员以及志愿者们都得了一张奖状慰劳他们的努力。

  演出结束后，我马上去找饰演尤国林的俊伟哥哥和青年景华师兄—— Gary哥哥。Whale姐姐对俊伟哥哥说：“俊伟，她是你的‘粉丝’ 。一直问我靓仔哥哥在哪里。” 俊伟哥听了也笑了，我唱一段《生命中的朋友》给他听。“你的歌声不错！你应该我们工作坊的歌唱训营。” 俊伟哥说。

  我也秀了歌声，这次唱TF Boys Karry王俊凯的《树读》。我也买了一件菩提工作坊三十周年的T恤，衣服上写着：舞台就是一个道场！就算是送给自己的提早二十岁生日礼物吧！很适合我，因为我一站在舞台，我不会被批评或指点，反而我是以歌声展现出我的故事。希望明年可以参加菩提工作坊。我要用歌声来传达佛法。

Can’t Touch This Campaign Closing Ceremony (17/10/17)

  After eight weeks of the anti-sexual harassment- Can't Touch This Campaign, had finally came to a close. It was right after the morning class, I headed down to the university boulevard, that's where the closing ceremony was held. "Hi Kar Marn, you're early!" said Priya, the director of the campaign. "I just wanna to get a good spot," I said.

  Aliah, who was the emcee of the day, she was doing some final rehearsals. "Hi Aliah!" I greeted her, Aliah gave me a big hug. "Hi, so sweet of you to come and support us," she said. I couldn't miss it for the world! "Why not you take a good seat, so you can take a look at us," she added, guided by my seniors, I was placed in my "VIP seat".

   Every seat had a survey form to get feedback from the students and staff of the campus. It was supposed to be filled at the end of the campaign but I filled in straightaway. Goodie bags as free gift were given to the guests upon arrival and energy drinks from RedBull were distributed as well.

  A few minutes to 10.00am, students and staff started to arrive for the closing ceremony. Invited guests such as Ms. Nisha Ayub, a Malaysian activist, Vice Chancellor, Professor Greame Wilkanson, the Dean of School of Arts, Professor Harold,  and the Head of the Department of DCLA, Dr. Chan Nee Nee.

  The closing ceremony started off with speeches from the campaign director herself, Priya. She was proud of her team that during the eight weeks of running the program, they received positive feeedback from the students, staffs as well as lecturers. "It's time to stop touching the campaign and start touching in our sleep," she said which earned laughters from the audience. A highlight video of the campaign was shown on the screen featuring the students of Diploma in Performing Arts (DPA) and some were from the maze challenge.

  A magical performance from Wayne Liew and singing from Sunway Music Society (SMS) . The ceremony ended with a big punch of the Bobo Dolls and souvenirs as a token of appreciation to the sponsors and VIPs. The moment everyone was waiting for- lunch time! Light snacks and refreshments were served. I had a few rounds of popiah and curry puffs. I took selfies with the seniors to end my day at the ceremony and it was time for me to head back to class for PR lecture.

  Hey, who knows I could run my own campaign when I step into my second year in university next year? 

马佛青甲州联委会：《一步一愿行》暨嘉年华（8/10/17）

  前天我们和Aunty Rose去吃沙爹时候，经过马六甲英雄广场大草场时，我对外婆说：“外婆，我要去！明天带我去，可以吗？” 外婆说：“可以，当然可以！” 然而我要去的时候，阿姨不肯载我们，我快崩溃了！三、四年一次在全马举行的佛教嘉年华，不去不是很可惜？在没办法之下，外婆只好托二舅来当我们的司机。

  我们差点迷路，幸好我们还是到了现场。我和外婆进摊子的时候，有一位阿姨问我们是否要购买素饭，价格只是十令吉，便宜嘛！还算合格的价钱！突然间，有人搭在我的肩上。我一转头，是教我中一华文的曾老师！“袈文，你几时回来？” 老师问我，我说：“星期五就回来了。大学现在在休假，又碰巧到这个嘉年华。不如回乡看看吧！”

  第一个闪过我的脑海就是去找中学母校—— 马六甲圣大卫中学 （St. David High School, Melaka）。我看到 “圣大卫中学佛学会” 的八个字不在远处，我径直走去。外婆在后面暖心叮嘱要小心。“哈咯！我回来了！” 我给学弟妹们一个惊喜，“学姐！你几时回来的？” 学弟妹文我一连串的问题，我说星期五就回来，碰巧在面子书看到他们摆的摊子。

  身为学姐的我，当然要支持新一批的佛学会理事会。“学姐，真的谢谢你过来！” 学弟学妹们说。“不客气！佛学会是永远的学会，永远的家。” 我也在他们的摊子玩一场游戏，可惜没有抽到十八号，不然我就得 “大奖了” ！我还想要玩，但是二舅说我已玩够、玩疯了，是时候回家。我很感谢外婆和二舅愿意为我牺牲来陪我到这难忘的嘉年华。

  外婆还说我花了不少，但这是项佛教活动，就当做修炼布施，没有任何的企图，用一颗真诚的心来支持这项活动。我参与了！你参与了吗？