Is it hard to be yourself? It depends on the individual to define the phrase in their own way. Let me tell you a story on the experiences of "be yourself" which lead up in both good and bad ways. I was a 19-year-old college student, trying to figure out which group of friends I belonged to. On 11 Jan 2016, the second semester of college was resumed, I was excited I couldn't wait to meet all of my course mates again, after a long two-month break.
We headed to a cafe where it is opposite the college, we had a great time. I thought I fit into this group of friends. I did the best I can to create opportunities to bump into them, getting know their timetable so I could fit our time together to hang out. The time I hung out with them, I felt a sense of uneasiness inside me. Sometimes, I got talked over, which was not a good feeling. I was the one who was always observing how they acted and talked, which I think is a good thing from a bystander's point of view.
In April 2016, their "leader" of the group told me that I don't belong in their group, and having me was a "waste of time". I was heartbroken, these so-called "friends" excluded me socially just like that! I realised that they were not able to accept for who I am as a person, and expected to act in the same way as them. This is not "be yourself, have fun" at all! Why we want to have fun and change the way that we are not ourselves? Something tells me that it's time to leave them for good!
It took me a while to recover this friendship heartbreak. Everything happens for a reason. The healing continued, somehow it led me to reunite with my high school senior and met some amazing friends during an event of Sunway University Buddhist Society (SBS). Immediately, I didn't feel left out and the feeling of "have fun, be yourself" was coming back! I knew that there is always someone in our lives, can accept for who we are without changing ourselves just to fit in. I'm thankful for them to appear in my life at the right time when I was at the lowest point in college.
University began for me in 2017, a new milestone had reached and a new mission. Again, I didn't fit into any of group of friends, except when it comes to academic purposes, otherwise, I'm always alone but I'm lucky to have my seniors and a few best friends in the course who always look out for me.
Along the way, I have been criticised for my personality and being outcasted. This is not going to stop me from having fun and being myself - the girl I always meant to be! Always remember to have fun and be yourself, it is ourselves to make others to see the other side of us and not others who try to change for who we are not.
😍😍😍
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